Don’t Worry

Don’t Worry

I’ll take the little things

About two weeks ago I agreed with my psychiatrist to change the medication I am on in order to make me less drowsy. At he time she said it would be hard changing medication and that I might experience some difficult days over the next few weeks. Yep. Dizziness, nausea, headaches and quite an unsettled mind. It is started to settle in now though.

Then the little things started to get to me, and I was starting to head in a bad direction.

I was wobbling already after the change and was excessively emotional compared to the norm, then last week I bought my new car which was great. My wife was already pissed off because it wasn’t the one she wanted to get, but when she asked me what colour it was and I said it was British Racing Green, she said she didn’t like green cars.

It was only a small comment, but I obsessed about it for two to three days and thought the world was going to end; or at least my life would never be the same. One small comment had thrown me so far into a head spin I thought here we go again. And it has been the same ever since – everyone was against me and nothing was going my way. My head change was nothing to do with my wife’s comment – it could have been anyone making any comment. My wife is great.

Then today two other things happened. Firstly I had to buy a small piece of granite for our new bathroom and it cost way more than I expected. This just put me into a normal bad mood. Then my new car acquired two small chips and one large chip/crack on the windscreen.

Next thing I know I have a locked jaw and my tinnitus is firing on all cylinders and I could feel myself getting out of control. I didn’t fully lose it because I know what signs to look out for, but underneath the surface still lies the magma and it needs to stay locked away.

I was agitated and very, very tense. I told my wife I was about to snap or go off on one. So having done that, when she went out for a walk, I took my medication early and had two additional immediate release tablets and hoped to God they’d work, but here’s the thing – before they had time to work a little voice in my head said to me don’t worry about the small things in life otherwise you’ll never find your happiness.

And just like that I calmed down a little.

Now I’m not overly keen on having voices in my head telling me to do things, but I’ll take the advice on this occasion.

I’ll try and keep to this advice from now on as it isn’t half a good approach to life.

Me 1 Bipolar 0

Scully

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