Meds don’t always do good

Meds don’t always do good

My psychiatrist in my last session just after Christmas upped my meds back up because I really hadn’t taken Have yourself a merry little Christmas to heart. Apart from one lovely day I had with my cousin and her family in London, I had mostly been a miserable sod. Most notably on Christmas Eve when I felt dead inside and scuttled off to bed so I didn’t ruin everyone else’s night. Yep – wasn’t a good one. This blog post can only get cheerier from here on 🙂

Or maybe not. I know that when you are on bipolar meds, getting drunk is really not a good idea. It happens at quite an accelerated rate, and the resultant hangover could have been conjured up in the depths of hell. Then there’s the state of your head for a few days. It really isn’t a good recipe for stable mental health. I found this out a while back, but it has never really bothered me as I don’t really tend to drink very much at all.

But now the combination of meds I am on has added a twist to this. On the odd occasion when my wife and I go out for dinner, my luxury is an Old Fashioned before the meal, and a glass of decent red with my main; which is usually a rare steak. This now looks to be a thing of the past as just one glass of wine (and not a large one) is enough to have me waking up all night retching and gasping for breath (tested under laboratory conditions this week).

Or maybe not. The side effect of having a single glass of wine should not be so severe, which has got me thinking. Things I have come to accept as part of sorting myself out, should not always be ok. Rather than think: “I should never drink again because of the effect that it has with the meds”, on this occasion I have stepped back to think: “What the fuck are the meds doing to me such that I cannot have a glass of wine”. Eureka. The “not being able to have a glass of wine” was the thing that made me think, but the problem is more than that.

Over the last couple of months I have been getting a progressively drier and drier mouth. I started out having to suck on menthol sweets, or vocalzones, all day at work, but now it has got to the stage where I have to use a product called Oralieve to stop my mouth from turning into the Sahara. I also have to use a moisturising gel at night to stop my mouth from gluing shut. That ain’t fucking right. Yes – I noticed because I had a glass of wine which made it a little worse, but it was really bad to start with. I’d just gotten used to the bloody effect that medication can have on me without thinking “is this ok”. In this instance, it definitely is not.

Scully

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