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When re-working the site, I decided that I didn’t want to lose some of the content of my first attempt. This page will therefore act as a dumping ground for random stuff

Paul Scullion is a 51 year old marketing professional from Maidenhead in The United Kingdom. In no particular order he is: a family man, a sometimes fanatical runner, a DIY addict and someone who is affected by bipolar disorder.

Having previously been diagnosed and hospitalised with depression and anxiety in his thirties, and following repeated episodes of uncharacteristic behaviour, in November 2021 he decided that another chat with a psychiatrist would not go amiss.

During his first session the psychiatrist asked him an awful lot of questions and then asked if he had ever heard of bipolar. From that point onwards the world made much more sense.

Rather than try and hide this diagnosis, he decided that a wider selective disclosure would be appropriate; whether that be at work or within his personal life.

This blog is his cathartic release and is part of the disclosure process, but he hopes that in writing it others will realise that your world won’t immediately come crashing down around you when you are diagnosed with bipolar. If you’ve lived with bipolar for some time without knowing it, understanding what you are dealing with can be the start of a much better life.

Here, his aim is to document how he gets on with therapy, medication, staying physically as well as mentally fit, and anything else that may spring to mind on any particular day.

Background Story

I’ve known there was something different about me for a very long time, but what it was wasn’t exactly clear. Since the age of 26 or 27 I’d had episodes in my life when I’d completely fallen apart. I had spinal problems which really knocked me down, both physically and mentally and I thought that might be the cause. Then I had my back fixed and I celebrated by going running.

This did sort my mind out to an extent – if I ever wanted to feel happy I’d run 500 yards. Try it – unless you fall over and smack your face on the ground you’ll feel much better. If I wanted to feel really good, or if I was feeling really down I ran a long way. But running wasn’t enough and I ended up in a clinic with depression and anxiety in my late 30’s.

In my 40’s I was relatively okay, and even managed to get married and have a family, but when my knees went in 2017 I lost my running outlet and went downhill.

To others I still maintained a perfectly normal persona on the outside. I held down a good job and even sometimes had quite a lot of fun.

Then some of those ‘fun’ times were accompanied by quite manic behaviour again, and after them I’d often crash.

Eventually I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and everything started to make sense.

I am writing this blog as a release valve for my emotions as they are somewhat all over the place and this is a very cathartic process for me.

If you like it great. If you don’t I’ll fall apart again worrying why you don’t like it. Or me. God, what have I done.

Not really – I’m writing this to get over all that.

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