The Seven Habits and all that

The Seven Habits and all that

I remember some time back – I was working in Soho Square in London so it must have been the 90’s – and I was reading The Seven Habits of Highly Effective people by Steven R. Covey on the tube on the way into work. I was reading about his example of a paradigm shift on the New York Subway where his opinion of a man with unruly children had been changed once he discovered that the gentleman’s wife had just passed away. I learnt nothing more from Mr. Covey as I dropped the book that day on the tube and never bought another copy. I did remember about this paradigm shift example and often used it to re-evaluate my opinion on situations. Not once did I ever think that I could use this same approach to sort my head out.

I have a psychiatrist and and psychologist now, and the latter I see every week. With my psychologist I am just starting to venture into the realms of CBT. I had heard of this method before as I believe my mother had utilised it during her recovery from agitated depression in the noughties. In respect of myself, CBT meant the Compulsory Basic Training that I had to do in order to get my initial motorcycle license and now all I can think about is how much I miss my Honda Hornet 600. Riding a bike around London in the early hours of the day is a fantastic experience. The streets are half empty and you stand way less of a chance of getting knocked off by a twat in a delivery van, a taxi, an Audi A6 Avant, or an old fart in a Volvo. I’m not generalising here – I did get knocked off by all of these. I dropped it a few times myself as well. No paradigm shift is going to change my opinion of any of those drivers – wankers each and every one of them.

My psychologist has suggested I start to use this method to fix one of my particular ailments – the fact that I think everyone hates me. Even people I have never met despise the sight of me. I am officially the lowest of the low. Scum. Just as well I can act.

I do have a few exceptions to this. I have my family whom I know I love (it was through them I discovered what love actually is), and a select group of people I can call my friends because I have known them for so long they must by definition like me. Either that, or someone has paid them a lot of money to hang around with me – and there is no reason for that.

Apparently I can use CBT exercises to change how I view other people viewing myself. I have no idea if it is going to work, but I really hope it does. It would be amazing to walk into a busy bar and not think I am the biggest wanker in the room. I really do hope it works.

Scully

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